It Doesn’t Matter Anymore
I’ve been told many times that I am a very persistent person. I will go out of my way to achieve my goal once I’ve set my mind to it. However, there was one thing I wasn’t persistent enough when I had the chance. Now it’s too late. I will never find out what happened to my dad’s first marriage sixty to seventy some years ago.
I don’t know why I’m thinking about it now, years after he’s gone. There are plenty of other things about him, other than his first marriage, that I can reminisce. I sometimes wonder if he was happy in that marraige, or in life in general. I never asked him that. But…does it matter now? He lived his life successfully and unregretfully…at least I’d like to believe that. I’d like to think that we, as his ultimate family, had brought happiness and joyfulness to his life.
I couldn’t say I’ve never regreted not being persistent on that matter. However sometimes, something is better left unsaid. Maybe there was a special place in his heart, sacred and untouchable, that he rather kept it private. Maybe that was his own way of showing his undivided love for us by separating his past from us. Maybe it hurt too much to talk about it. Or…maybe simply there was just nothing to talk about. I will never know.
We all have to let go of certain things at some point. Maybe that was what he did — let go of his past. Maybe it’s time for me to do the same. Thus, it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t regret anymore not knowing that specific period of his life. On the other hand, if I did persist in knowing, I might possibly have had put him in a difficult situation, and that would be the last thing I want to do. Now I can only hope for the best. I hope he was madly in love and content with his first marriage. I hope he didn’t suffer from separation due to the civil war on the mainland. I hope that marriage didn’t end badly. I hope he was happy with his decision and the consequence that might have brought upon him.
It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just proud he was my dad.
我問弟弟知道這是誰嗎?他說:葉問 ,笑死我了(那張爸在看報紙的)
太離譜了吧~~